Tuesday, 16 June 2009
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Pregnancy - a very special time
We have quite a few expecting moms these days. As a single person, I don't have too much advice, but I came across one book that may be useful, especially for first-timers.
I find the illustrations to be quite insightful.
To all those expectant mother out there, many wishes for a safe and happy pregnancy!
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Comments (7)
Most awesome, I think many women though expect I little too much special pregnancy treatment.
Two examples, First before modern society women's jobs could not be abandoned because they were with child, nor the males job able to be set aside to assist the wife. Was God wrong to have it this way, or is the right way only found in modern society?
Second, my lovely sister, who upon getting married turn for 3 years into the baby factory, being pregnant for almost all of the first 3 years of her marriage. Could her husband stop working, could he stay up all night each night to watch the kids, no. But even though this is the case she received care and love from her husband in the ways he could offer her.
So should men show compassion on the burdened (physically) with child woman? Yes. Should they attend to them as queens, no for that does not help the family as a whole, which men are responsible for not just the wife.
Balance is what is missing today, either no help is given being negligent, or too much exalting the wife above what is due.
Your thoughts?
@BiblicalTruth2 -
The battle that women face today is in so many ways a self-inflicted wound. Somewhere around 40 years ago, it was normal for a mother to be home for her children, home for her husband, and for the husband to be home at a reasonable hour from work. Society has changed, however, and work has placed its high demands on American citizens, and feminist women have paved the way for men to really struggle with providing for their families. Because women have joined the workforce in the same way that men do, costs have to greatly exceeded reasonable value, and it is rare that a man is able to provide for his household on his own without a great deal of toil. However we as Christians are thankful that "with God all things are possible," and that He is our true Provider.
As far as the needs of pregnant women go, there is a lot that needs to be understood. Women are portrayed a lot as wanting "me" time, and while this sounds selfish, one has to first understand in the proper context what it means to be a wife and mother. A woman who is pregnant with two kids, for example, has an unbelievable amount on her plate. A woman with a newborn and two additional children under 5 has even more to deal with. Think of this: A man cares for his own personal needs, makes ready, and goes to work. A mother of three, however, has to dictate to the older child what needs to be done, helping him along the way, meanwhile wiping the dirty bottoms of and dressing, preparing food for, and feeding the other two children. All this happens separate from her getting herself ready. Despite that the children so often tear the house apart by taking things out and leaving them laying around, the woman is responsible for the order of her house. In short, she not only has to care for an clean up after the husband, and herself, but also the children. I cannot sufficiently illustrate how much time and energy goes into this process. If she is wise, she will train her children so that the oldest ones help with the youngest ones, and step-by-step build a well-functioning family.
A man, in his own right, has other numerous things to think about. Work, money, home improvements, spiritual headship, etc. These things are of great importance. Much like the church, however, every role is important, and none can do without the other.
All in all, marriage is a team effort, and when any member of the family is uncooperative, the whole family suffers. And when society's organizations are uncooperative and unreasonable, the families of that society likewise suffer a great deal.
Now, to answer one of your questions, "Should men attend to their wives as queens?" I will respond by asking more questions:
How does Christ attend to his Bride? What does He withhold from her, if He did not withhold His own life?
Are men to be attended to as kings in their own right? If not, why not? And if they are, why do their brides deserve less?
Is not Christ, the perfect Bridegroom, a King? Therefore, does He marry any less than His own Queen?
Remember: the picture of marriage has its perfect enactment in Christ's union with His holy Bride, for whom He gave His life.
What, then, are you unwilling to give?
And do you not know that a man's love to his wife is supposed to be efficacious, making her all the more lovely?
Thus the Apostle says:
Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her,
that he might sanctify her and cleanse her with the washing of the water by the word,
that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle,
or any such thing, that she should be holy and without blemish. ---Ephesians 5
Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. --- 1 Peter 3:7
Above all, you have to remember that the wife is the weaker vessel - physically, judgmentally, and emotionally. That does not mean that she is stupid or overly emotional, but rather that she benefits from her husband's analytical mind and cautious insights. And according to the Ephesians passage, it is the husband's responsibility to correct and perfect her before God; this is to be a joint effort, as since she is declared to be his "helper", she is to likewise help him in this endeavor by keeping herself in the paths of righteousness.
You're quite correct in that balance is what is due. An husband ought to be treated as the Scripture declares, as he is the respected ruler over his household and therefore responsible for it, and a wife ought to be treated as the Scripture declares, as his holy bride who helps him in all things and for whom he daily lays down his life. When both parties give due honor, the household is sanctified, and their prayers are not hindered. In addition, their children see and benefit greatly from a properly functioning household in which due honor is given to both husband and wife. This brings about an essential security and self-respect in both sons and daughters. While the child-parent bond dissolves to a certain point, the marriage covenant never dissolves this side of heaven. Therefore let the husband honor the wife, and the wife honor the husband with Christ the Lord as their example.
Wow that was a very reasonable response. I tend to use hyperbole to make point when it is uncalled for. Thank you for seeing the larger point.
I have seen the struggles of attending to children and they are not to be minimized, and the women is to be lifted up and helped as the "weaker vessel", I think I was lax in describing what I meant by "queen", I think in today's society women have usurped the role of leader of the family, and in pregnancy that change is amplified and showcased many times.
I think the ideal of "help-meet" (the help suitable for) is the correct one, and in fact the creation mandate (like men are to be with women, day precedes night, etc), and that has been turned into the man in the women's "helper".
The Love of Jesus for the bride is an interesting picture, as shown by how the Lord YHWH actually dealt with his bride, that does not match the idealistic picture we have in our heads of "love", in Ezekiel he stripped his wife naked to show her the shame she bears, he purified his bride very painfully, even disowning her (ask I will provide chapter and verse). So I believe using that picture does not show the nurturing side of Jesus' love for his church. That does not mean that the tender love does not exist, it just is balanced by his burning desire for holiness.
The husband has a job, the most important one ever, he holds the soul of his wife and is accountable for her spotlessness at the end. His job is to mold her into the best image of Jesus he can,spotless without wrinkle, tell me that is always going to "seem loving", although it is truly as loving as one can be.
Ephesians 5:25-2725Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
26that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,
27that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot
or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without
blemish
My brother is married, and he loves his wife, VERY MUCH, yet he finds in VERY difficult to show that love in they way he idealistically would as love the emotion woul have him to, He struggles and the pain I see him feel when he tries to show his wife a better way is real tanigable and strong. You see I saw this first hand as I lived with them for several months of their first year together.
Yet this is the way of Jesus, pain in santifictation suffering for future glory. Marriage is not a endless romance novel, but a struggle.
And the man is the one responsible to carry his wife when she is down, and show the humble path when she lifts herself up. He is the one who should be asked for decision from large to small for he is the one who is accountable before a living God for her choices and his.
That is why the husband is given authority over even the oaths the woman herself takes, for this duty is a selmon one:
Numbers 30:12-14 (New King James Version)12 But if her husband truly made them void on the day he heard them,
then whatever proceeded from her lips concerning her vows or concerning
the agreement binding her, it shall not stand; her husband has made
them void, and the LORD will release her. 13 Every vow and every binding oath to afflict her soul, her husband may confirm it, or her husband may make it void. 14
Now if her husband makes no response whatever to her from day to day,
then he confirms all her vows or all the agreements that bind her; he
confirms them, because he made no response to her on the day that he
heard them.
I hope this makes clearer the point I was attempting to make with strong inaccurate words.
Great pictures, Elizabeth! I'm taking notes.
For the record, my husband treats me like a queen - chocolates, ice-cream, help with dishes when he isn't working, himself... he's just the best! *And* he is looking for a better place to raise kids than this place in the city. Somewhere with room to run and play and grow. He says he's "nesting!"
I loved your answer, Elizabeth. And yours, too, BiblicalTruth2. It is true that pregnancy sometimes becomes a time for women to try to get everything to center around themselves, their feelings, and their baby. The women's magazines don't help - they have so many articles on how the emotional and physical struggles that you're having are normal and should be really catered to by your husband. And, actually, mine are catered to. But I don't think that I "have the right to demand" princess treatment.
Christ-like love and marriage are based on the 'each for the other' principle, where 'true love' = giving up your life for the other person.
Being pregnant doesn't change that. This pregnant lady is making muffins.
p.s. I really could get into the "riding public transit" 'wrong' situation!
hahahaha this is awesome